Random findings of a specimen from Venus... Aka- me, Rhona Liddle.: Zen? sheesh! like you wouldn't believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-) ahhh bliss.....

I've just been on a wonderful meditation retreat! Never done anything like it before and not used to travelling alone but I just 'grew a pair' and got in with it and it was chuffing awesome!!!!!!!! sooooo peaceful and green and calm and sploshy and soul-nourishing! Can't actually find the words yet to describe what I got from it fully but its a big 'Tick' from me! woohoooooo. Pics n stuff to follow..... it's not working presently.

Okay, it's some time after my retreat now, I've began reading a great book recommended to me called 'After the ecstasy the laundry!' Its by Jack Kornfield and is aimed really at grounding yourself once back to lifestyle after a soul nourishing retreat away, adjusting etc whilst still living in the moment to moment way and meditating frequently. It's an excellent book!

The retreat I went on was one week long in Snowdonia national park, North Wales. Its a hidden location (well, some say hidden but of course you can find it!) its an eco retreat called Cae Mabon and the wonderful instructor who led the retreat was the rather divine Margaret Kerr, she's from Glasgow and runs various courses like this all over. She was nothing short of incredible! a real true inspiration and the most serene lady i've ever had the pleasure to meet. The course was hosted by a company called The London Mindfulness Project - to be honest, I wouldnt rate them at all. Too many reasons why which i dont need to list, but i wont use them again, however, luckily their absence of guidance and correspondence and professionalism leant itself rather well to the overall experience. teehee.

I truly found myself on this retreat. I could not have reached such an intense level of serenity if it werent for the very essence of dr Margaret Kerr. What a woman! she's changed my life!

During my time there I often wandered off on my own to reflect in-between sessions or just hike my legs off in the flora and fauna and craggy landscape and find little hidden spots. I adore moss and i've never seen a) so much of it as here and b) so many varieties! It was heavenly! On a 5 hour solo mediation in a hidden spot I found myself rather connected to moss in a quite profound way. What on earth? i know, what was all that about, right? well it was real enough and quite something. I enjoyed climbing the mountain and following the torrent water falls down through the valley to the bottom where they rippled calmly after their manic, crashing, noisy journey - into the lake beneath. once or twice a day and night you'd hear the distant steam train chuffing loudly as it climbed Snowdon. What a sound and smell that was to behold.

The retreat was just a couple of mud huts with living roofs and the entrance doors were tiny and ornate. each hut was very different to the next and there was a large main central one with a firepit inside and drums were played at night when the fire was lit. i had just used the fire heated hot tub by the stream then grabbed my outdoor shower before hearing the drums, with curiosity and pj's and hiking boots and a head torch i followed the noise and woody aroma of burning logs. I couldnt help but join in on the drum playing, it was incredible, no one what tune anyone was doing, we just found a natural and intoxicating rhthym that lasted and lasted until we were all

burning hot from the huge roaring fire. I then retreated to lay outside on the grass as the stars were glorious and the Milky-way was crisp and visible. It was quite probably the best night in my life!!!!!! I slept so well that night and feel certain my smoky clothing kept the bugs away all night. ;-)

Each morning, Margaret awoke us gently by ringing her Tibetan singing bowl softly at the crack of dawn outside our huts. we'd silently all go round to the hut shown here below, to meet for early morning meditation before our breakfast and rest of day commenced...

The toilet was an experience! it was a wood shavings compostable toilet and a small raised hut high of the ground, the view from the loo was spectacular! lol. it was quite a climb so you didnt really want to go all the way there each time you needed a short visit - so to speak; but you didnt half burn off some calories getting up there!

The colours on my daily walks and explorations were abundant and blew me away! there was gorse bushes, the varying greens in all the fauna, pinks and purples in the heathers and other flora and the craggy slate and rocks were not just greys but pinks and purples too! What a lovely surprise to find. I also had never realised just how floral and sweet smelling gorse was until climbing a mountain and sitting almost 'in' a bush with a bumble bee (i was too scared for a little while to look out at the overwhelming vista, so sat for a while with said bee until my mind could contemplate the expanse around me).

Wherever I'd walked each day, my route back always followed the bottom of the stream, increasing in volume as I reached camp, the noise of the water was a little hard to work with for the first couple of days but I soon adjusted to it and began to love and respect it rather than find it intrusive.

There's something about FEET! i dont know what it is, feet and hands actually, I'm not one for standard photography but do rather like to photograph my own or anyone else's feet in front of a superb backdrop! I know, a little odd perhaps. ;-)

I wanted to bring something home from the retreat, something from nature, didnt know what, so in order to take something from the world I feel I have to give something first, so on the last day I set off about my usual wanders with some apples to leave in random places for squirrels, insects and birds and whatever else might like to enjoy them. I wasnt searching really for what to bring home but felt it would find me. Eventually it did, I brought home a wonderful very old piece of driftwood, it washed up on the slate/shingle beach at the base of the lake and I knew it was for me, it was about a foot in length and had baby moss growing out of it! oh how super!

I've never been one for climbing trees, not even when I was a young girl but I felt compelled to climb the moss-clad trees on my walks, they gave a sense of safety with their soft, deep moss all over them so I felt less apprehensive than I normally might have done at the concept of tree climbing. It was rather fun to climb one and wait! Wait for people to walk by out enjoying the peace and quiet and fresh air etc, watch them and know that they dont know i'm there, i felt like a secret tree fairy!!!! ;-)

Below here on the left is my hut - aka home for the week. It was the smallest hut of the three on site and basic doesnt even come close, there's nothing in it. nothing at all! but a small window out the back overlooking the stream and stove-fed hot-tub. It was rather lovely, very peaceful. cold yes but i had all the right stuff with me and was super thermal at night. I had to sleep with a mosquito net over my head as there were millions of tiny tiny tickly bugs that dropped on you in the night! my sleeping bag had a net covering inbuilt too so that was lucky, plus I dowsed myself in organic citronella oil frequently, during day and night so I was the only one on the retreat to never get bitten! :-)

It was such a strange event to need the loo in the night! the procedure involved, waking oneself up fully (for safety!), putting ones head-torch on and adjusting it to show sides and whats ahead, putting on and doing up hiking boots and grabbing a whistle! Then you'd have to be mindful of every tiny step, rock, bump or slippy bit of land for every step that you'd then take in order to merely have a 'little night time wee!' if you fell over or slipped or walked into or off of something it was tough because no one would hear you fall or shout, not with that torrent of a gushing water fall and stream beside camp. It was a traitorous jaunt to the loo hut if thats what you so required?! :-/ I had no idea just how many eyes were on me by way of wildlife! :-o

I am on the endless hunt now back at home to find woodlands that are grass clad on the ground! It's very hard to find grassy woodlands here in the south east of England, woodland floors tend to be mossy or leaves or just mud. However it hasnt deterred me as I've bought a sit-mat and a lay-mat and i have these with me on walks or lunch breaks and just unroll them and get on with it. But this picture here to the left is where I did my 5 hour solo meditation and it was lush! literally like a comfy bed! The trees were tall and thin and the sunlight dappled its way through to me warming my eye lids.

At one point during my meditation I heard the ground making a noise! Curious, I turned over to face the ground, I scurried my hands about like a dog on a scent to find a bone underfoot - eventually I found the culprit! It was the most beautiful big beetle I'd ever seen! He was shiny jet black but with cobalt blue underside and rim and bottom! What a neat smart little fellow. Later when I relayed this beetle to others I was informed its a dung beetle. Well despite its species name it was mighty beautiful indeed.

At night as the sun set, I loved walking down the windy path for about 10mins to the lake, I was always frightened of looking out to deep water at night, the movement of it and the unknown of what's beneath and its dark abyss etc and sudden noises of life dashing around in it but here and on this retreat I was entirely at one with it. I began using the water as part of some of my meditations, being aware and fully mindful of every ripple and how the light bounces off every part of the lake, what the lake was doing and how and when etc. It became utterly fascinating! Like the most gripping of drama movies where you cannot take your focus away from it. Rather mesmerising also.

Some of the moss around the place in Snowdonia is sooooo thick it's like its soul purpose it to show off and be the most glorious and fit for the Queen. It was like the most sumptuous deep velvet, like a cushion made of such and filled with a rare breed goose down, but only the specific hand chosen feathers that were the most wondrous shade of white! It felt mighty special and quite often I'd find myself merely standing and gazing at my feet!

On site, there was a rope swing! well, it'd have been rude not to, right?! ;-) Golly it was fun! It was glorious to sit and swing with legs out in front of yourself in the evenings when the sun shone and set so deeply on this very spot, the view FROM the rope swing looked out to mountains and hills galore, each fighting for the trophy of wonderment!

There were two onsite chefs during the week, a lovely couple, they'd work for hours in the outdoor kitchen chopping and preparing wonderful and wholesome things and there was a little robin who was beyond cheeky! he'd come and join them and land on the edge of the chopping board glancing from left to right as if to point one of its eyes at the Italian chef asking him authoritatively for a tomato or a piece of the lovely freshly chopped cold wet iceberg lettuce! I would often come and sit opposite on the rocks by the stream and watch said cheeky robin and listen to the chef talking fast Italian at the little cheeky bird as if to be arguing about the price of eggs these days or something! It was strangely peaceful and it also meant I'd often get a glimpse earlier than the other residents into what we'd be having for dinner that night! ;-)

When the sunset begun - standing right here (pic to left) at the very point where the mountain gushing waters met the calm tranquil lake was rather special. I'd stand with one foot either side of the soft barely-there trickle and think about the journey of that very spec of water, how far its come, what its seen and experienced on the way down and what it would do now its met its destiny. I had no idea until this retreat just how conducive to mindfulness water really is.

This is the view from the Toilet!!!